Alternatives to beauty-based compliments


Appearance is often the go-to compliment for women, which should tell you how much gender influences even our most initial judgments and perceptions. In lieu of commenting on the physical, focus your attention on attributes less associated with gender.

Here’s a handy list of some examples you can try:

“I love your enthusiasm” – this shows the other person that you’re reading their mood and that you’re receptive to positive energy.

“You’re looking vivacious today” – again, emphasis on the positive without relying on femininity. Everyone likes being told they’re full of life.

“You look confident” – upbeat reinforcement with the added bonus of a self-esteem boost.

“I admire the energy you contribute” – because it’s always good to be acknowledged as bringing something to the table of everyday life.

“You’re so much fun to be around” – reminding them that their presence matters and is appreciated.


Let’s face it: Even in its most flattering context, beauty is predictable. Choosing these alternate phrases conveys a more genuine interest in everything the person has to offer.

Also: Try to explain how something they did fulfilled one of your needs. People like hearing that.

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Created (9 months ago)