How to talk to someone with ADHD
Try to avoid phrasing things as questions if they need not be.
For example, an offer of support could sound like an active question:
- "do you need support?"
or it could be a passive statement that requires no response:
- "let me know if you want support"
Do you see how the latter is more relaxing? There's no implicit request for response. That also makes it easier to respond to, ironically.
A hypothesis: don't ask yes/no questions, especially if you're expecting the answer to go one way and the other way would surprise you.
"Can we talk?" (expecting a yes) could just as well be "I'd like to talk to you, let me know when it suits you".
If you're concerned they're not doing well, you can't expect a response when you ask them "How are you doing?"
Instead, spell out the consequence that you'll worry if they don't respond. They may not be aware of that consequence, due to their brain having already disengaged at the sight of the above question, but very few people want to make you worry.
"Tell me something so I don't worry about you".