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Bring the real you to the relationship

OK, some rels. need time to grow, but if there's a part of yourself you're holding off on revealing, that sort of thing should have a known stop-condition.

"Shadow-work": sunlighting the parts of yourself you're afraid of. It's also self-work, but it is not only for your sake, but so you can bring the real you to the relationship!

Tip: If too hard to be open, tell a therapist first. Also even if you don't endorse your own feelings, You can still talk about feelings you don't endorse.

Do shadow-workđź”—

"Secondly, showing up means consciously working to gain control of your emotions. This means clearing your unconscious. It’s called shadow work. It’s long, painful, and messy. Those shadows are slippery and elusive. Yet, if you commit to showing up, you will flush them out one by one.

As you do, you will have a slowly dawning sense of what emotional responsibility is. It’s the ability to be fully present with your emotions, no matter what they are.

Only when you’re able to be fully present with your emotions are you able to be fully present with yourself. This is the great gift of emotional responsibility—the full presence of your own being in your own life.

What links here

Created (14 months ago)

Notable Emacs news

#emacs

Emacs 29

  • Adjust font size globally: C-x C-M-+ (global-text-scale-adjust)
  • You can now hit M-X after having hit M-x, without first exiting the M-x prompt.
  • key M-SPC now bound to cycle-spacing, instead of just-one-space
    • related new command: ensure-empty-lines
  • new frame parameter: alpha-background
  • new mode: pixel-scroll-precision-mode
  • NO LONGER RECOMMENDED: so-long-mode!
  • new command: find-sibling-file
    • I often use custom commands I call "my-find-next-file-in-dir" and "my-next-buffer-of-same-mode"; this sounds like a similar idea. Though now I also discovered ff-find-related-file and better-jumper-jump-backward.
  • new command: rename-visited-file
  • new command: help-quick
  • new hotkeys in help buffers!
    • n(next) p(prev) e(edit)
    • see option: help-enable-variable-value-editing
  • when point is on any image anywhere, there are commands to manipulate it under the i prefix
    • See M-x describe-keymap image-slice-map.
  • image-dired is faster now
  • image-dired slideshow on S
  • in image-dired, marking an image in the display buffer shows the next image
  • new theme: leuven-dark
  • new fn: setopt (like Doom's setq!)
  • new fns: buffer-match-p and match-buffers
  • describe-buffer-bindings no longer prints tons of "Prefix Command"
    • relevant to me, because my package deianira looks it up
    • controlled by option describe-bindings-show-prefix-commands
  • new fn: key-valid-p
  • new fn: key-parse that always returns vector output unlike kbd,
    • but (key-parse "<TAB>") and (key-parse "TAB") still differ
  • new fn: keymap-set instead of define-key
  • new fn: keymap-lookup instead of lookup-key and key-binding
  • new fn: define-keymap
  • new fn: defvar-keymap
  • M-x shortdoc RET keymaps RET
  • new fn: org-get-title
  • Whoops! "The Gtk selection face is no longer used for the region. The combination of a Gtk-controlled background and a foreground color controlled by the internal Emacs machinery led to low-contrast faces in common default setups. Emacs now uses the same 'region' face on Gtk and non-Gtk setups." That may be why I've been confused with results when attempting to theme that face.
  • new option battery-update-functions can trigger actions based on battery status
  • new fn pixel-fill-region should let you refill variable-pitch text more consistently
  • new option eww-auto-rename-buffer
  • new option proced-enable-color-flag
  • new package: eglot
  • new package: tree-sitter
  • new fn: string-edit
  • new fn: file-name-split
  • new fn: file-name-parent-directory
    • no more of this hairy expression: (car (last (split-string (file-name-directory FILE) "/" t))!
  • new fn: with-undo-amalgamate
    • maybe we can use this instead of disabling undo entirely in some commands

Emacs 28

  • New mode: context-menu-mode
  • New mode: repeat-mode
  • eval-last-sexp now actually does re-eval defvars!
  • C-x x a new keymap for "buffer actions"
  • C-x 5 5: other-frame-prefix! no more multitude of *-other-frame. is there an embark "postfix" instead of prefix?
  • C-x t t: similar to above but for other tab
  • describe-keymap useful for e.g. image-dired-map or ess-mode-map
  • toggle-truncate-lines now disables visual-line-mode
  • M-o prefix gone!
  • M-x shell now uses pop-to-buffer-same-window, consistent w/ eshell
  • eshell-mode-map loads normally (no need for an eval-after-load to modify the keymap)
  • new option: use-short-answers
  • new option: abbrev-suggest

What links here

  • 2021-08-11
Created (16 months ago)

Feminism as a practice-case for rationality

You know how the history of science is littered with cases where progress was held back because so many people couldn't let go of their preconceived notions? It's why rationalists prize the ability to abandon preconceived notions, and to do so quickly, regardless of how many people stand by the notion currently. "Speak the truth though your lips may tremble" and all that.

Seen through that lens, women's role in history can be another case study of mass-delusion. Lots of people were unable to see the fact in front of their noses: that women are people. Even the women themselves didn't see it. Yet it should be the simplest thing in the world. Isn't that worrying?

If our brains can serve us that badly, how do you know yours isn't keeping up other massive blind spots?

The concepts of intersectional feminism are not just things you learn in order to be able to claim you did your part in building a more equal society.

They also give you some practice at deconstructing deeply entrenched Aliefs. Even today, nobody is free of aliefs around gender… it's a collective project to catalogue them all, hence that gender studies is a field of research.

We can benefit from what they have found so far, like premade lessons. But the biggest leg of the journey is within yourself, as you digest this material. You get to observe, almost directly, the shift that happens as various hidden attics in your mind get unhidden, and you realize they were there all along, and it's humbling that, you know, you just didn't see them.

Best of all, you get the kind of personal development that makes you feel like a more complete human being.

Related

What links here

  • 2023-05-19
Created (16 months ago)
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