Aliefs
(www.greaterwrong.com/tag/alief)
Example: I spent most of the last year being subject to aliefs along the lines of “if X happens then that means I’m bad, which means that nobody will ever love me,”
The point of working with this alief in a circle was 1) to get exposed to situations that might trigger the alief, 2) to notice when other people started being confused about what I was saying because it no longer made sense to them, and 3) possibly to get actual experiences that contradict the alief (people still loving me even though X had happened). I was gradually able to take this alief as object but it took awhile; it had a very, very strong grip on me.
In other comments when I’ve talked about thorny emotional bugs, this is the sort of thing I was talking about. My experience is that most people come to CFAR workshops with at least one bug like this (edit: which they don’t know they have! Blindspots!), which is seriously holding them back; I don’t think it’s uncommon at all.
Aliefs control you and can be very destructive.
For example, take someone with severe jealousy issues. I wouldn't be surprised if they're carrying an alief along the lines of "Someone like me doesn't deserve a partner". That means a part of them honestly believes that their partner would leave them if only they knew the full truth, so of course they act accordingly.
Another example. "If I can't find a job, I'm not worth anything". Things like that… You can absolutely see people's aliefs reflected in their behavior. The thought you cannot think controls you more than the thought you can think.
Not the same as an "unofficial belief"🔗
The mechanism I use to deal with this is to label my beliefs "official" and "unofficial". My official beliefs have a second-order stamp of approval. I believe them, and I believe that I should believe them. Meanwhile, the "unofficial" beliefs are those I can't get rid of, or am not motivated to try really hard to get rid of because they aren't problematic enough to be worth the trouble. They might or might not outright contradict an official belief, but regardless, I try not to act on them.
To those of you with well-ordered minds (for such lucky people seem to exist, if we believe some of the self-reports on this very site), this probably sounds outrageous. If I know they're probably not true… And I do. But they still make me expect things. They make me surprised when those expectations are flouted. If I'm asked about their subjects when tired, or not prepared for the question, they'll leap out of my mouth before I can stop them, and they won't feel like lies - because they're not. They're beliefs. I just don't like them very much.
The difference is that you are aware of your unofficial beliefs, but you aren't aware of your aliefs. How I see it, you "raise" an alief to unofficial belief by becoming aware of it. Then you can work on dissolving it, along with the rest.