#emacs

Disclaimer: While I haven't understood the use-case of Denote, I'm sure it has one. This is just directed at the reader who is feeling attracted to Denote due to a perception of "simplicity".

Denote is … simple in the wrong way, in my opinion.

Aside: I like the author, but I disagree with his view of when to use Org, just because of a complex codebase. My plaintext has no reason not to be in Org markup!

(Even if all copies of org-mode.el in the world got deleted or something, it would still have no reason not to be in Org markup over any other! I could probably fork markdown-mode to understand Org syntax in a day, and then I'd once again be at least feature-par with markdown files, and so there's no reason to even "preventatively" stick with Markdown today.)

It sounds like to him, Org's complexity feels very present while editing an Org file, but it's not to me. I do not see anything but the text I'm wanting to write.

I was troubled by the introduction of a denote: link type, worrying how they would survive export, but I'm calmed since I read that Denote will also read regular id: links. Phew!

The strict filename structure creates a roadblock for me. I export many of my Org-roam files to a directory of HTML files, and I rely on the Org exporter to automatically resolve id: links and replace them with relative paths. Which means the filename of each org-roam file ends up determining the URL to each of my posts – good thing the filenames don't matter to org-roam! I wouldn't want the Denote format in the URL! With Denote I cannot just use org export as a drop-in solution. Now I must dig into the source code and hack it to work with Denote's limitations.

Now here's why I call it not-simple. I think simple software allows seamless composition with other software, instead of creating roadblocks!

Org-roam v2 is the most natural way I can see to implement a zettelkasten. I've thought so at least since 2015-05-20 (predating org-roam).

Most complaints I've seen have less to do with technical tradeoffs, and more to do with people not knowing what to do when they can do everything. They like Denote because its limitations lead to someone writing a manual explaining one correct usage, and I guess people who have not previously thought much about file-naming schemes perk up at the "hey, that's smart!" file naming scheme, and so they feel compelled to buy into it just to pay respect to beauty, or something.

One complaint about org-roam is potential desync between filename and #+TITLE. I'm not worried about that, because there is no filename, there is only #+TITLE. For the purpose of my homepage, I made a small command that auto-renames a file based on the title.

• Wayland vs. X11

• Portal: Relationships

• Knowing your weaknesses
  • Things I struggle with
• Coping strategies
  • ADHD coping measures
  • Coping with jealousy
  • Calming & Coping routine
• Repertoire of tricks that work when you really need to do something
  • Book: Focusing
• Self-advocacy
• Things that aid therapist
  • Keeping a readable diary
• Find your aliefs and "unofficial beliefs"
• The skill of Looking / kensho / cognitive defusion

• Keeping a readable diary
  • Noting when you try something new
  • Noting when a conflict happens
    • When a conflict-like thing has happened, you rarely understand it that well in the moment, and this can give you a writer's block or ugh field, so a tip is to just start describing mechanistically what happened, saving interpretations for later.
  • Noting when your partner starts a new project, so you can ask them about it later
• Keeping a history of check-ins/tea dates/kickoffs/planned Serious Talks and what we said and agreed on (History of tea dates)
• Keeping a history of lessons learned (Lessons learned with G)
• Keeping a history of what your partner has said they need
• Keeping a list of things you've appreciated about your partner at one point or another (Things about G I like/respect/endorse)
• Keeping a list of commitments (Commitments Martin)
• Keeping track of what your partner has planned or is planning – maybe pen her plans into your own calendar. (Related to "Living through the other")

• Owning your feelings
• Being emotionally available, not an uphelpful wall "one partner (often the woman) wants a more honest and transparent relationship while the other (often the man) remains stuck in emotional irresponsibility, unable to grasp what the issue is because of their unconscious shame."
• Doing shadow work (inner work, peeling the onion) to bring the real you to the relationship
• Ability to engage with others on a topic that's painful for you, e.g. your recent handling of a relationship even though you are ashamed of it
  • Separate observation from judgment
  • Replacing Guilt
• Re-approach the small things in your partner that bother you

As I understand it, the term "emotional resources" can involve:

• Having friends who help you process
• Asking people for help
• Looking up online advice
• Asking for advice on a subreddit
• Using exercises from books
• Using writing prompts
• Using an N-step template for e.g. conflict resolution
• Knowing you have material such as How to listen, Debate scripts, Checklist for situation
  • Thinking of it at the right time
• Psychotherapies
• Book: Focusing

• Clarifying your expectations
• Keeping track of new things I try – like when I restrict Safari on the phone to 30 minutes. Make a note in the diary that I did so. Treat the diary as not just a place for braindumps but something you can share with your therapist.
  • (think of it this way: making your notes more utilizable for your therapist also makes them more so for you.)
  • This helps me look back and tell G what I've done
  • Standard followup: scheduled on calendar after 1 week and 1 month.
    • This could be an iOS shortcut.
    • Or if not an iOS shortcut, could I just transmit calendar events thru Beorg? I suspect that if it's not to feel stilted – if I'm to get over that hump and start calendaring more and more things thru Org, so that Beorg feels more and more like a natural extension of me – then I should sync my entire roam folder onto my phone. I'm a bit uncomfortable with that. But that would be the natural way: so that I can spawn a subheading in literally any of my files, titled "Review this", and not think about finding the specific file.
      • But it's true that todo lists don't really work for me and this will not change that. So I would only use it for reminders that don't attach much of a todo, or timeful reminders. I suppose instead of a todo.org I could have a reminders.org.
    • Ideally (again, from the perspective of a psychologist), I write something in my diary to say how I thought it went, and link back to the original diary entry when I began, if there is one.
      • (I note that this would be more automatic if I in fact made an org subheading in the original file scheduling a review a week in the future – then my notification/agenda will link me directly there, so I don't have to remember it exists to be referred to)
• Commitments Martin
• Agreements

• If you want honesty, make sure not to punish it
• Don't use silence to communicate (nor as punishment)
• Conflict resolution
  • Conflict in relationships are usually net positive
  • Steer towards forbidden conversations

• Neel Nanda's Intentionally Making Close Friends
• My Pre-social checklist
• side-topic: intentional communities (such as ecovillages)

• Remembering about the other / Living through the other
  • so you'll realize they will need this or that, and they don't need to watch for all roadbumps themselves because you help out on that
  • Leave someone better than you found them
  • Innermost circle of concern to envelop the other / "Selfless Dating"
  • Each partner needs to maintain their sense of self
• Understanding the other
  • Level 2 theory of mind (where did I read about this?, maybe a comment from the Simulacrum levels discussions?)
  • Other stuff under Rationality:Interpersonal
  • Bridge a mismatch of communication style
    • Communication cultures
    • That I try to disprove everything I hear can feel like I want to disprove everything you say, and if so it's my bad, it's just how I develop an understanding of things
• Love-oriented life approach, the way Bell Hooks talks about it
• Managing a long-distance relationship
  • Basic LDR checklist
• Joint documents – like Griselda & Martin's shared pages
• Always-good advice
• Good relationships aren't built on combining two halves, but two wholes.
• Reflect on the perspective I have of relationships, as a result of my place in society
• Self-advocate

• 2024-06-04
• 2023-04-13
• 2023-02-24
• 2023-02-22
• Teaching as learning
• 2022-11-26
• Portals